Secrets
by LivNel4ever
Summary: Elliot catches Olivia in bed with someone else, and he realizes how much he really loves her, but is it to late?


Elliot half ran half walked the stairs to her apartment. What are you doing here? Why are you torturing yourself like this? Why are you torturing her like this? He recalled the last time he was here.

He was nibbling on her neck as she opened the door. It took Olivia a few tries to get the key in the door, not because she was half in the bag, but because Elliot was nibbling on her neck!

The slowing entered her apartment, lips locked and curious hands rubbing every body part they could reach.

"ahh…" God that felt good "El---" his warm tongue meets it's mate "Ell--no…no we can't do this." She manages to get out.

"I know, but how can something so wrong feel so right" He said has he pulled her shirt out of her skirt.

"Look El--- I want this to happen, I do…" she said as he moved his hands up her shirt, "but there is so much at stake, we can't do this…mmmh ... no…no El, I'm not risking our careers for one night…unless …"

He pulled stopped licking her earlobe and asked her straight in the eye, "Unless what?"

"Unless…God she loved him…God she loved him kissing her "Unless... she looked deep into his baby blues Unless this could be more..."

He pulled away immediately, "Liv---um…I have to go" And he walked out the door.

And now here he was, wondering why the hell he left that night.

He went to knock on the door, but before his fist hit the door, he heard something. He couldn't make out the words, but it was Olivia. He then heard a loud thud, followed by a scream.

Detective Stabler responded, He pushed in the door. The door wasn't locked! He said to himself, she was hurt, someone was in there, he was hurting her and he had to get to her.

He burst through the bedroom door. "What the?"

"Elliot!" Olivia screamed. "What the hell are you doing here! Get out!"

Elliot quickly stepped out and shut the door. His head repeated the scene that just happened as he waited for Olivia to come out of the bed room. She was on top of someone! She was naked beneath the sheets. Who the hell was it? He needed to know. His blood pressure soared.

"Olivia, I need to talk to you! NOW!"

She came out of the bedroom, wearing only a short silk robe.

"Elliot! You had no right! NO right! Get the hell out of my apartment, NOW!" she screamed. She was pissed. She also wondered if he had seen who she was with.

"Who is he?" Elliot demanded.

"You mean you didn't see?" She said, kicking herself the moment the sentence left her mouth.

"DO I KNOW HIM? Jesus Liv! Who the hell is he. Tell me now."

"What is it to you?"

"You know why Olivia, now tell me who is it?" He said in a calmer voice.

"What is it to you? Why do you even care?" she was getting choked up. Who the fuck did he think he was.

"Tell me who he is or I will bust that door down and find out myself"

"You left me! You walked out, you have no right, Leave now Elliot…now"

He hung his head, she was right. But----"I left here cause I got scared…I got scared Olivia." He said in a very sorry manor.

"and you didn't think that I was scared? Scared that you found out…that you knew…and then you let me know that all you wanted was a cheap fuck? Well, Fuck You Elliot! Get out. You have no right" And she pushed him out the door before he had a chance to explain.

She walked back into her bedroom. "I'm sorry about that…about him" She said as she sat on the bed, and took a drag of a cigarette that her partner was smoking.

"Another lovers quarrel, huh? Why can't you guys just stop being so damn stubborn and realize you were meant for each other?"

"If it were only that easy!" She said as she looked at ADA Casey Novak, and passed back the cigarette.

"Men!" She said taking a drag of her cigarette. "Well at least he didn't see me here! Can you imagine?" Casey said laughing hysterically.

"I think he would have been relieved!" Olivia laughed out.

They had a special relationship, Olivia and Casey. They had become real close-they were best friends with some bonus benefits. They had talked about it a lot to make sure both of them were on the same page. They enjoyed each others company, and liked the special benefits, but still needed the satisfaction of a man.

Casey knew Olivia and Elliot loved each other. It made her so mad that they just couldn't get on the same page. She loved Olivia she was her best friend, but they both knew it went no further then that. They joked about how they wished it would have been enough for both of them. But they both knew it would never be enough for them. So they had some fun in the meantime.

"What do I do Case?" Liv asked her. "I'm obviously in love with my partner, and he's just looking for a good fuck"

"Olivia you know that's not true. He is deeply in love with you, and just to damn pig headed to admit it"

Elliot would not even look at Olivia the next day at work, and that was just fine by her. The Captain was informing them on a new case.

"Stabler, Benson- go talk to the neighbors, find out what they heard" The Captain ordered.

They were in the sedan, there tempers on the rise. "Great! Traffic!" Elliot barked.

"Are you ever going to look at me again?" Olivia asked.

"Are you ever going to tell me who you slept with last night?" Elliot fired back.

"Why does it matter Elliot? I don't understand why you care so much"

"Are you serious?" He asked dumbfounded. Does she not know I'm completely in love with her? Does she not know that the thought--the sight of her with another man makes my skin crawl?

"Yes, I'm serious" What the hell was going threw his mind?

"After what happened between us?" He asked

"Nothing happened Elliot. I said I wanted more from you then a one night stand, and you walked out, so--"

"Olivia, that's not why I walked out. Did you really think that's why I left?" She nodded. "Olivia I walked out because I…I walked out because I…" he was stuttering.

"Because you found out that I loved you, and you couldn't handle it. You were just looking for a night of passion, I get it Stabler" she said for him

"No! That's not why---you love me!" He was shocked

"C'mon El, why are you doing this to me?" She said looking at the floor mats of the car.

"Olivia--I didn't leave that night because I wanted a one night stand, I left because I thought" He stopped, and a huge smile came across his face, 'she said she loved me!'

"What? Why are smiling? It's not funny Stabler!" she was getting mad. He was laughing at her!

He took her hand, causing her to look into his eyes. How does he does he make me do that? She thought.

"Olivia, I left that night because for the first time in 8 years I actually realized how much I am in love you. I didn't want just a one night stand," Elliot's hands were fluttering in the air as if he was also telling her in sign language. "I panicked. For the first time I allowed myself to act on my feelings, to share my feelings…."

"so---you didn't just want to sleep with me?" She asked her eyes going from cold dark to her gorgeous brown.

"Well, of course I wanted to sleep with you, I still want to sleep with you" Oh my God, did I just stay that? Elliot said wishing he could turn back time. "But that's not all I wanted"

He put his hand on her thigh. "What are we going to do about us Liv," He said gazing into her eyes "We have a special connection, and no matter how much we try and deny it, it will always be there. I know, I tried for 8 years to deny it, and my love for you only grew stronger" Shut up Elliot! You sound like a damn fool, he thought to himself. He had no control over his words.

"I'm sorry, what?" It's not that she wasn't listening, it was that he had admitted he loved her! He does love me! He does! Was all she could think.

"Benson" Saved by the ring. "No, we're stuck in traffic…ok we'll be there as soon as we can…not sure on the ETA…ok will do." She shut the phone. "We need to go back to the house. We got a suspect in custody, Cap needs us to interview him…"

"What are we going to do about us Liv?" he asked sweetly, kindly.

"I don't know- El…I don't know…what do you want to do?" She looked at him…

"Well we can finish what we started…"

"Elliot!"

"what! I'm just saying" He laughed

"Just turn the car around El"

They couldn't stop looking at each other throughout the interrogation. They were both hot for each other, both wanting each other, and finally realizing that the other felt the same way. It was too much, and they didn't make it easy on each other. Elliot would walk around Olivia slightly touching her, enough for her to know that he was trying, and close enough so she could feel his warm breath along the back of her neck.

She played back too. She would lean over him to show the suspect photos; her chest crossing against his shoulder. And any time she was across the table she leaned over just enough so he could sneak a peak down her blouse. After 2 hours of interviewing the suspect they wanted nothing but to rip each others clothes off. Thank God the Captain came in and told Mr. Brownshire they got all the information they needed. The detectives thanked him for his time and headed out back towards their desks.

"Benson, Stabler--It's late, everyone has left, you can type up your information tomorrow, go home, I'm am." The Captain said to them and walked towards the elevator

And there they were finally alone, and in the station house no less. The elevator doors barely shut when Elliot grabbed Olivia into a passionate kiss. They had picked up right where they left off.

"Elliot, can we actually do this here!" She asked as his hands were groping her breasts.

"I don't think we can make it anywhere else" He said kissing her neck as his 'lil El' began to grow.

"I guess not" She said feeling him against her hip.

He pulled her towards the crib. He led her onto a cot and seductively teased her with his tongue. He licked every inch of skin that was exposed. God, she tasted so good. He teased her until he could no longer take it.

He pulled up her sweater, and threw it on the floor, she did the same with his. They both laughed as they heard them hit the cement floor.

"We are so bad" She said to him kissing his neck down his chest.

She stopped.

"what? Was this all payba---" he thought she was getting revenge…until he heard…It was the Captain! He was back!

They were frozen, neither one of them could move. They starred in each others eyes, not knowing what to do. Each of them praying to God the Captain did not walk in.

"Did you lock the door?" She asked quietly

He nodded no…"wasn't really thinking about the door" He said looking at her sexy body and giving a devilish smile.

"Stabler! Benson!"

"Shit! Shit!" The both said together as the managed to get there clothes back on. "Hit the showers! Go Elliot, Go!" She half whispered, half mouthed.

As soon as Elliot was out of sight, Olivia collected herself and walked out of the crib. "Forget something Cap?" She asked hoping he didn't suspect anything.

"Yeah, my keys" He said shoving papers and files that covered his desk. He then looked at her…in a 'what were you just doing' sort of look.

"Just finishing up on some paper work" she said hoping he didn't suspect. Am I just being paranoid? Or does he suspect something? Why is he looking at me funny? She wondered.

"Where is Elliot?" He asked suspiciously.

"Elliot? Oh he was just lifting some weights" Was he buying it? Why wouldn't he, it's not like this was the first time they were left alone together…

"I should start working out, maybe I'll bulk up" He said flexing his muscle.

She prayed that Elliot heard her, and went to the gym…please, please let El be in the workout room.

When he left the room she took a deep breath and happened to see her sweater….! FUCK! IT WAS INSIDE OUT AND BACKWARDS!

She ran…she took off like a bat out of hell! She didn't know what else to do…

She got safely in her apartment with out her cell ringing…I wonder what is going on at the station house. There could have been another reason why my sweater was all messed up…I couldn't think of one at the moment…but she tried…but every time her memory replayed the part where she was making out with Elliot.

"Casey, It's Olivia…you are never going to guess what just happened. I'm freaking out. I am completely freaking out"

"Are you ok? What happened! Did he tell you he loved you! He did didn't he!" She said not even allowing Olivia the chance to answer.

"Well yes, but--"

"Oh My God! Olivia that is great! I knew it!"

"Casey! I need you to focus!"

"Ok ok, what happened?"

Olivia had told her exactly what happened. When she was done all Olivia heard on the other line was Casey laughing hysterically.

"Casey! It's not funny" Olivia barked

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" She said still laughing, "It's not funny…giggling It's not funny I know, but---"

Just then Olivia burst out into laughter, "but it is funny!" And they were both laughing uncontrollably. They couldn't help it.

Olivia heard her door knock. She quickly became silent, hoping that the Captain was not on the other side of the door. She look threw the peephole.

"Casey- I got to go, Elliot's here" She said and hung up before Casey could say anything.

"Elliot--I--I What happened?"

He looked into her eyes, and smiled. "I think we're ok. When I heard you say I was lifting I ran so fast to the work out room I think I left my skin behind"

Olivia laughed out loud. "So what happened after that--El---" He started kissing her neck.

"God you're so sexy…he moved to the other side of her neck Do you know how hot you are?"

"Elliot--what did he say?" She backed away from him

"Uh..mm…ok, he came in I was pumping some iron with my huge biceps…he said flexing his arms, she smiled and said he left his keys and that he would see me tomorrow" he stepped in close to her and started kissing her neck again.

"And that was it"

"and that was it…why?" He came up from her neck so he could look in her eyes.

"Well---um…you heard everything he said right?"

"Yeah…" He said shaking his not understand what she was getting at

"Well you didn't see…"

"See what Liv?"

"That my um…she snorted trying really hard not to laugh my sweater was on inside out and backwards El---" after she said it and looked at him she didn't find it so funny.

He stared at her…she stared at him. Both speechless.

"Wow…I mean ---shit Liv…"

"Yeah I know…what do we do?"

"hya…what can we do?" He looked at her…

They both had that look in there eyes…they had unfinished business.

They jumped onto each other. He grabbed her ass and pulled her in so tight against his body. They fell to her floor, the clothes came off faster then humanly possible. She laid against the floor as he pressed his hips against hers.

When they were finished they got dressed moved to her couch and sat down. They were going to have to talk about what they were going to do.

"Liv-- I need to ask you something, it's been eating me up---" She cut him off

"You want to know who I slept with the other night…"

"Yeah…"

"Ok, but you're not going to understand…It's complicated, well not really, I mean it's nothing really, and you're not going to understand"

"You said that already, and how do you know I won't understand?

"Trust me El, you won't"

"Just tell me who he was"

"That's just it EL---it wasn't a he…"

"Huh…I don't understand…oh I see, you're not going to tell me"

She laughed, "No El I am, just no judgments ok?"

"Have I ever judged you?"

"It was Casey"

"What! YOU SLEPT WITH CASEY! That is awesome!" He said with a big smile, "so you guys sleep together? How does that even work? And can I join?"

"Elliot---she laughed I don't know how it exactly works--it's just we're best friends, and sometimes we have sleepovers…we both know were each other stands"

"What does that mean"

"well, she knows I'm in love with you"

"She knows?"

"Yeah…she knew before I even knew!"

"I don't get it---are you a le-ah…are you…"

"It's called bi-sexual El, and yes I guess I am"

"But you guys aren't in a relationship?"

"No. it's just fun I guess."

"You're right, I don't understand" he laughed

"I told you, I know you too well El!" she laughed and plunged into his lips and kissed him.

"So do you want to be in a relationship with her?"

"No El, I don't love her…well I love her, but not like that, I love you, I am in love with you"

"And she knows this?"

"Elliot- It's all she talks about"

"So you guys talk about me."

"Uh huh, all the time. She has been dying for us to get together for some time now."

"I still don't get it"

"You never well, so forget it and start kissing me again" She said seductively.

He leaned in. If he thought Olivia was hot before he found out about her and Casey, He didn't have a word for how he felt about her now. She had just scored 10 points in his book, and it was ten points that she didn't even need!

Before they could get into it again, there was a loud bang on the door. They looked at each other. They knew exactly who it was…

"hide, Elliot hide" Olivia whispered.

"Olivia, open this door. I know Elliot is in there, I followed him. Now open this door now." Cragen said in a fierce angry voice.

"We are so dead" Elliot said to her, and pulled her into a seductive kiss.

She looked at him like he was on crack, kissing her at that moment.

"I had to kiss you one last time" He said explaining his actions.

"Right" She said as she opened the door.

The Captain walked into Olivia's apartment like he owned the place.

"So you guys going to tell me what the hell is going on in my station house?"

They both looked at each other, but didn't have a clue as how to answer this question.

"Fine, you guys won't talk, then I will. Sit down" He commanded. The detectives sat down on opposite sides of the couch.

"I suppose I should have seen this coming. I knew it was only a matter of time before you guys would realize your true feelings for each other, hell everyone else knew. Right under my nose. What were you thinking? You guys think you can just break all the rules, no matter what. Well not this time. I'm taking your badges, you both can consider yourselves off the unit"

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other. There hearts dropped. They both loved this job, and half the reason was because of the person sitting across the couch.

Olivia acted quickly. She had to save there partnership, so she did the only thing she could think of.

"Captain--whoa there…Aren't you going to let us explain?" She said with a new deck of cards in her hand.

"Well go ahead let's see you try and trick your way out of this one" The Cap said, thinking that there was no way she would be able to.

"I love Elliot, and he loves me, that is true. We're best friends. But we're not in love with each other. " She laughed at the very idea.

Elliot knew what she was going to do. She was going to get them out of this, she was a sick evil goddess slash genius he thought.

"Liv-- you don't have to do tell him- It is your personal business and you can keep it that way" He said to her.

The Captain was confused. Why was Elliot talking to Olivia like she was going to blow herself in, but not him? It didn't make sense.

"No, it's ok Elliot, I'm ready to admit it," She said a she drew a deep breath. "Captain, you see while I love El, he's just not my….type" She said hoping he would get the hint.

"I don't understand," he replied.

"Um, What I'm trying to tell you Captain is that Elliot and I will never be together, because I'm already with someone…"

"That is bull shit Olivia and you know it, if you were dating we would all know about it"

"Well yes and no…and no if I didn't want you guys finding out my secret"

"That you are sleeping with Elliot--" the captain finished for her.

"No Cap…that I'm sleeping with…" She looked at Elliot she was dying with laughter inside, this was going to work, she hoped that Casey wasn't going to kill her.

"I'm sleeping with Casey" Olivia said.

"What?" The Captain asked in complete shock. "That is crap Olivia"

"Cap--It's not. I've known about Liv and Case for awhile now…I even had the very fortunate incident of catching them" He said with a devilish grin on his face.

"Good one detectives, but I'm not buying it" Did they think he was this stupid.

"Don- I'm not lying to you. What can I do to prove this to you? Do I have to prove this to you?" She asked knowing that she would be able to.

"If you two want to keep your careers. But I don't know how you would be able to prove something like that"

Olivia giggled. She had a video of her and Casey together, the thought of Captain Cragen watching that video was hysterical to her. "I'm sorry I'm just really embarrassed Captain." She said to apologize for her laughing outburst. "CARDS! I HAVE CARDS!" Olivia kept any card she has ever gotten from anyone.

"Huh?" The Cap said.

"Captain, I have cards that Casey has given me, if I show them to you would that be enough proof?

"Well, yeah I guess that could work"

She bolted to her bedroom and came back out with a shoebox full of old cards.

"Before I show you these, you have to promise me that you will keep our relationship on the D/L. I'm letting you into my personal life and I deserve some privacy, but I love my job and I am willing to overlook the intrusion if it will save it" She handed the Cap a card that Casey gave her a couple of weeks ago.

Don looked at the card. On the front was a picture of two women having a drink. He took a deep breath and opened the card:

Olivia,

You are the best friend I have ever had. You have become my rock, and I thank you for that everyday. We are as close as two people can become and I don't know what I would do if I didn't have you.

The past few months have been great. I enjoy every day…and night that I get to spend with you. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever known. You are so gorgeous it is hard to keep my hands off of you at times---

He closed the card. He didn't need to finish reading it. He was such an idiot. "Olivia, please accept my deepest apologies. I had no idea. I will keep your secret. I hope that you don't think too little of me. I'll show myself out…Oh and Elliot--I'm sorry to you to."

"Don't worry about it Cap. See you on Monday" Elliot said.

They went to her window and waited until Don drove away before they said a word.

"Holy shit," Elliot said, "You were great Olivia! That was great!" he picked her up and spun her in his arms.

"I know, I'm good…I am damn good" She said as he put her down. She walked very seductively towards Elliot, "But before we do this, I have to call Casey and tell what just happened."

"is she going to be mad?" He said rubbing her shoulders.

"No, I don't think so… One night we had a long talk about you and me. And I was telling her how it could never work because if someone ever found out---" She bobbed her head not having to say anymore about would happen if someone found out, "anyways she said that if that was the only thing keeping us apart--then basically tell the story I just told the Captain" Olivia said looking at Elliot's chest.

"I can not believe that just happened, I can't believe that the Captain was actually going to fire us…Wow…" Elliot said.

"I know. But now he will never suspect we are together" She smiled seductively at him.

He kissed her gently on the lips. "I love you Olivia Benson, everything about you, let's go to bed I'm exhausted, how about you"

"Definitely, you wore me out Stabler" She laughed.

"Liv, one question I have before we go to bed?"

"yeah, anything." She yawned out as she changed into a long T-shirt.

"Well..he cleared his throat so, are we in a relationship then? Like is that what were doing?" He asked shyly

"I thought that's were we headed…" She said sort of confused

"No, it is…it's just are you still going to see Casey like that?" He had to say it.

"No. That's called cheating Elliot, no matter who it is…"

"Ok…just checking" he said kissing the back of her neck, "cause Liv, I don't ever want to share you…"

"You are so sweet El. Thanks, and don't worry, I'm all yours"

The climbed into bed and he held her In his arms.

He couldn't help but think to himself, This is perfect! 


End file.
